When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I got inside last night via doggy door
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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