you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize