Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
