Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
