Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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