If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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