piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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