She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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