is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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