she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
