dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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