No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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