No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
