my soul wont recognize me after tonight
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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