I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
