Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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