dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
