he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
