He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
