when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
