I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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