Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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