Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
