only if we run a train.
done.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
