ADVERTISEMENT

• (616): View more from Michigan

  You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  no

  Fav 21 1287 2029

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'

  (312): View more from Illinois

  i was like PREG?

  Fav 9 1311 1488

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up

  Fav 64 912 3863

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Awkward

  Fav 13 962 3455

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived

  Fav 31 5636 931

  share tweet
  

• (64): View more from New Zealand

  Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...

  Fav 13 2797 1161

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears

  Fav 21 7678 1273

  share tweet
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"

  Fav 1 1288 716

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.

  Fav 16 2151 829

  share tweet
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.

  Fav 3 270 295

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.

  Fav 1 81 20

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie

  Fav 0 39 8

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night

  Fav 0 31 1

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..

  Fav 0 22 3

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You threw him in the dryer?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.

  Fav 0 74 17

  share tweet
  

Randomize