Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
