I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
