The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
