I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
