whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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