So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
