Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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