i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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