Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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