i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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