yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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