btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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