i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
