Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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