if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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