So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
