When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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