dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
