I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
