there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
