Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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