I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
