ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
