My nipple is on Facebook.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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