Dude my mom stole all your condoms
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
