how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
