he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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