I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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