I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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