How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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